Dear August: Another Nearly Gone…

August, beginnings, birthday, Dear August, September

Well our time together is nearly over for another year, and you have not let me down. I honestly can’t remember the last time an August was so busy, so energetic, so exhausting, so full of actually warm sunshine.

It’s been a month of gorgeous weather, sad events, exciting events, BBQ’s, running around like a headless chicken, praising the fact that I no longer seem to suffer from hangovers – gotta love this getting older lark!

It’s been a month of seeing family – family that I haven’t seen in a long time, and family that I’ve never met before.

It’s been a month of planning for the future, and surprising myself with how that doesn’t scare me.

It’s also been a month of planning for my 30th. I think that I’m on plan H now, but I think I might stick with this one, this time! I always like to make a big deal out of birthdays, because it’s a great excuse to bring people together ­čÖé

I have to say, that I’m going to miss you August, but that’s okay, because we’ve had our laughs, and this will most definitely be an August that I remember for both the good and the bad.

But, I’m a little bit worried August. September is also a weird month for me. I know that January is considered as the beginning of the year, but September always seems to be the beginning of something when it comes to my life: whether it’s the new school year, or when I always seemed to start a new job.

So September comes with a little apprehension, especially since August has been such an unexpected month. I’m nervous, but excited – at the same time – to see what this month will bring.

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Dear August: Life

August, busy, Dear August, life

We are half way through you August. Half way. It feels like I say this on the 15th/16th of every month, but where is time going? How does it slip by so fast?

I spend so much time worrying about things that are so inconsequential and irrelevant, that sometimes I think I’ve worried so much that whole days, weeks, maybe even months have past me by, and I’ve barely even noticed. But, by the time I do notice, I wonder what the heck I was worrying about.

But worry isn’t the only thing that seems to encourage time to whizz by. As I mentioned a few letters ago, August has been an unpredictably busy month, and doesn’t appear to be showing any signs of stopping, and busy months are renowned for flying by.

It’s funny though, because my days are so less regimented than they were when I was at school. School days felt crammed with information and people, and I always seemed to be doing something, and yet time seems to go faster now! Is that because the busy of school was “boring”? I don’t know, but I wish that time would slow down, because I’m starting to feel like time is flashing by so quickly, that I’m beginning to get left behind.

I’ve known for a long time that my life wasn’t going down the same path as most of my friends, and I’m okay with that. But there comes a time when I’ve started to feel that maybe it’s time for change. Or maybe my life was never going to be that black and white, and maybe I’ll just carry on following my feet, to see where they take me. I think it’s more fun that way.

Thanks for everything August, and thanks for keeping me busy.

*This series of posts was inspired by the┬áLetters to July┬áseries run by┬áEmilieofnewgloom, make sure you check out her YouTube Channel, because she’s pretty awesome*

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Dear August: Summer of 2000

August, Dear August, GCSE

Do you remember the summer of 2000? It was the summer that so many of us weren’t sure would arrive, because of some Millennium Bug (it was kinda like the paranoia of 2012, but was something to do with computers, and looking back was even more ridiculous!).

By August, we’d just had a lunar eclipse (I was in bed, and reluctantly watched it on This Morning, because I thought that I’d end up regretting it if I didn’t make a slight attempt to watch it – I do kinda regret it!) and I had finally escaped the prison known as School.

For me, the summer of 2000 was the end of childhood, purely because it was the last time when I spent the summer without worrying about work and what I was going to do with my life. To me, it was the summer of absolute freedom, because I was old enough to make my own decisions about how I spent my time, and yet I could still get away with feeling completely guiltless of doing absolutely nothing.

In the summer of 2000 I got my first mobile phone (a chunky black Philips phone from Dixons). I went to my first live concert (Party on the Pier in Cleethorpes, headlined by Five, and for which I still have my Five flag!). I celebrated my GCSE results with friends at Fatty Arbuckles and drank cider in a local park (classy!). It was the first time that I had truly felt “free”.

We were the Millennium Babies. We were about to be the first to trial EMA (that turned out to be pretty awesome, even if it was only ┬ú20 a week, it was the most money we’d ever had!), and the first GCSE results of the new decade, the new century, the new millennium.

It was a big deal. Well, to me it was.

If I could re-live any summer, or more specifically, any August, it would be the one from 2000 without any doubt.

Love you always August, and may we forever remember the awesomeness of 2000!

*This series of posts was inspired by the┬áLetters to July┬áseries run by┬áEmilieofnewgloom, make sure you check out her YouTube Channel, because she’s pretty awesome*

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Dear August: Packing Up and Growing Up

August, change, Dear August, life, privacy, progress

Yesterday I told you about how much it sucks to grow up. Well, today I want to tell you how it feels to be packing up everything that remains of my childhood.

When I was younger, I was distraught at the idea of leaving my childhood home for good. Whilst I was at Uni, I hated the idea of not being able to go back to the warmth and safety of it all, because it had been a place where I escaped the bullies, and where all of my dreams begun.

However, aged 29 and packing everything up for the very final time – as we all move on, in very different directions – I’ve come to realise that I don’t feel as sad about it, as I’d expected to.

This house – or bungalow, since that’s what it is really – is full of memories. Some awesome, some sad. They’re my memories, and I cherish every single one of them, but it really does feel like the right time to move on. Why?

Progress.

When I was growing up, we had neighbours – of course – but none of them overlooked us. We had trees, and fences and the benefit of awkward angles, making our slice something very much an area of privacy and seclusion. It was almost as if our house and garden were in a completely different world.

And then progress happened. The houses overlooking our back fence, and the Village Hall built at the front.

In the space of a few years, my childhood home has lost that special magic known as privacy and I am happy to walk away.

It’s strange to think that I had all of this privacy when I was a kid, and now I live in a world where privacy barely even exists any more, because we all share so much of our personal lives on Facebook, Twitter and our blogs.

My child self would be screaming in terror, but I think that we need to embrace and accept that things are changing, and that we need to change with it.

Love you always August, and thanks for listening,

*This series of posts was inspired by the Letters to July series run by Emilieofnewgloom, make sure you check out her YouTube Channel, because she’s pretty awesome*

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Dear August: Why I Love and Hate You

August, Dear August

So we meet again my old friend. It’s been a while. Twelve months to be precise.

Once upon a time you were the month that I cherished most, because of everything that you symbolised. You were the month of freedom, of escapism, of sunshine and doing what I wanted. You were the month when I wasn’t expected to do anything, or be anything.

And then, I grew up.

There are a lot of things that I love about being a grown up:

  • My independence
  • Being able to make my own choices
  • Going to bed when I want to
  • Knowing that I am old enough to watch every single film, drink alcohol, vote, buy a lottery ticket without worrying about getting ID’d
Then of course, there are the things that I don’t like quite so much:
  • Having to pay bills
  • Taking responsibility for every action that I make
  • A severe lack of freedom
  • A severe lack of “the August effect”

For me, August is no longer anything special, instead, it is just like any other month, except it’s full of kids, and there is no escaping the fact that they are enjoying everything that I loved about August. Instead, I have to work in order to pay the bills, I get to look at the sunshine through a window, instead of from within the grass and I don’t get to be “free”.

I love August, and yet a part of me kind of resents it, for being the one month when I really want my childhood back. I want to enjoy this beautiful month in a more carefree way, but that’s not going to happen, which is always going to be sad.

Growing up is fun, but it sucks at the same time.

Love you always August,

*This series of posts was inspired by the Letters to July series run by Emilieofnewgloom, make sure you check out her YouTube Channel, because she’s pretty awesome*

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